Engaging Without Being Defensive by Elder M. Russell Ballard

This is an abridgment. Full article here.

Recently I saw some research about how other people see members of the Church. It suggested that members of our Church can sometimes appear very defensive to those who are not members of the Church.

This was not the first time I have heard that kind of observation. But the more I have thought about it, the more I understand it. If we are not careful, we may convey a sense of defensiveness in our communications with others.

I think I understand something of the reasons. From the time Joseph Smith walked out of the Sacred Grove in 1820, there have been those who have reacted negatively, even with hostility to our message. That is now an indelible part of history. And yet this isn’t 1830, and there aren’t just six of us anymore. In our interactions with others, are we expecting always to have to defend ourselves? If so, I think we need to make a course correction

If we want to be respected today for who we are, then we need to act confidently — secure in the knowledge of who we are and what we stand for, and not as if we have to apologize for our beliefs.

I’m going to give you two suggestions for how to engage in conversations nondefensively.

First suggestion: Don’t let irrelevant issues drown out the more important subjects.

"… If the Church allowed critics and opponents to choose the ground on which its battles are fought, it would risk being distracted from the focus and mission it has pursued successfully for nearly 180 years. Instead, the Church itself will determine its own course as it continues to preach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world.”

Now my second suggestion to you is to emphasize that Latter-day Saints follow Jesus Christ and what Jesus Christ teaches. We try to follow Him in all that we do.

This is your foundation. It was Joseph Smith’s foundation. He said: “The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, he was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.”

Please remember you do not need to feel like you must justify your beliefs; you simply need to explain them in the spirit of love and kindness. The truth always prevails when true doctrine is taught.

I want to leave you my testimony. I bear witness to you that Jesus is the Christ. He is the Son of God. He does live. This is His Church. We’re on His errand. He has given us teachings and commandments. We should understand them and teach them with love, power and spiritual strength.